Ok. Have you ever laid in bed, not able to go to sleep because so many random thoughts are swirling around your head? Like, you can’t even relax because you go from one thought to another with out pause. Do you ever try to stop thinking… just long enough to get to sleep? How’d that work? It doesn’t work for me. Some nights I just can’t stop the mental friggen ferris wheel!
My problem is believing the illusion in my head that I can talk myself into stopping! Which just perpetuates the whole problem! It’s like telling a river to turn around and flow the other way! It just ain’t gunna happen!
Those of you who do this know exactly what I mean. And those of you who sleep comes almost on impact of head-hitting-pillow…well, I don’t like you. I don’t like you at all. I have issues with you.
The worst thing though is… let me know if I am truly the only one that does this… if so, I will seek therapy immediately… but the worst is when I write a letter or a post or a perfect poem in my mind… and then upon waking… it is nowhere to be found. NOWHERE. How is that possible? HOW?
It was so perfect. It flowed well, was witty and yet informative. Profound and yet palatable. Educational and yet carefree. Really. It was great stuff! I had felt so proud of myself as I drift off to slumberland, that I smiled! That’s how darn good it was.
But then… when I get the chance to write it down the next day… I look at the blank screen… hands anxiously over the keypad… ready to spill out my golden nuggets of “word power” … and… and… and… AND… AND… AND NOTHING. NOTTA. ZILCH. ZIP. N O T H I N G.
What thee h e l l ? I had it. It was perfect. It was everything I wanted to say on the subject. It was put so well. It was the most wonderful letter a person could write… it was a great poem… it was… it was… it was… and illusion. I only thought it was good.
B e c a u s e- I -w a s -i n -d r e a m l a n d -f o r -c r y ‘e n- o u t -l o u d!
Darn’it. I hate it when that happens.
Some of my best work… stuck in the clouds of dreamland. (pouty face)
AAAhh well, So… here’s to another night’s sleep… another attempt at not thinking… and the hope that one day soon it will rain down on me all my great mental writings!