Oh… what a day yesterday was. Wheeewh.
I wrote the last post the day before yesterday and told you all that I had said “no” to my husbands request to go to the black tie event with him this weekend. There is a lot more to that than just the “no” – so if you haven’t read the previous post – do so before you judge me. Then judge me if you will… whatever.
Anyone that knows me well knows that foofy is not my thing. Shopping is not my thing. Glam is not my thing. And black tie events certainly are NOT my thing – since all of the above are involved. But I was willing to go to this thing the first time he asked me several weeks ago. Then he called it off just as I was getting into the “hunt” of a gown (on-line of course! My kind of shopping!) But then a few days ago, he announces that he must go. I said okay – bye! But of course he really wanted me to go with him.
Anywhoooo, I tormented myself with “yes” and then “no” until the night before last when I finally told him I just didn’t think I could pull it off with this short of a notice. I thought I had plenty of stuff to back it all up and felt pretty satisfied that God and the rest of the universe would understand my decision to let him go it alone. Besides – he actually likes this kind of stuff. To each his own.
But I unfortunatly told my mom about the whole thing that evening on the phone and she got all emotional about it and told me I should go with my husband and support him in his career. I knew she was right, but was kicking myself for mentioning it to her. I felt like I had pacified myself on the ‘guilt trip’ with a long list of “to do’s” for the next couple days and she had just made the list look very invalid. Darn it. She made me promise that I would at least try to find a dress the next morning – and that if I didn’t find one – it may not be meant for me to go after-all. She ended with this. “I feel very convicted of this Heidi – God has a plan here for you. Give it a good effort tomorrow – please – and if you are to go, I feel that you will find a dress and not only find it, but it will be on sale.”
I was nauseous now… again.
You don’t understand… I mean it when I say I’d rather be at the dentist than do all this. I like the dentist. They are nice to me and treat me well. They make me comfortable and give me a blankie. Then they let my lay down!!! And I get music! My own special kind of music – whatever I’m in the mood for! And then on top of all that… I get gas! I love that stuff.
So, the next morning as I am checking emails, here is one from my dear, dear (never met but truly love) friend Linda in Colorado. She had left a message after the last post, and it was so perfect for what I needed at that moment. I cried. She is right. SO right. This a time of personal growth – and growth isn’t always easy or pleasant. But I needed to make a decision and just DO IT.
With Linda’s encouraging words… I set off on my hunt.
Of course I don’t know where to go, so a call to my ever-so-handy-and-loved-friend (Becky) who knows about all these things was in order before I even set foot out of my door. She told me what store to start at.
I figure that I’d give it a couple of hours of looking for “the dress” and then I could head home, call my mom, and continue on with my list. You see how I am still resisting? But God had other plans.
Ooop – I have to go make lunch – but I’ll be back to finish telling the story in a while!