It’s Just Not Me

I have such a desire to be one of those people who can boldly state how they feel about any political, world news, religious, or social opinion. I want to stand up straight and yell out how I feel about it – whatever “it” is. I SO admire those folks who do it, but alas, it is not who I am. I don’t know why. I try. But I fail.

Is it the artist side that prevents such forthcoming from me? Is it being the middle child (and only girl) and the fact that I was elected “peace-maker” of the family at the age of two? (Kidding. I don’t know when I was elected that job!) Is it a sign of weakness?

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

Don’t get me wrong. I have opinions. I do. And I have a very firm belief system. (I think! JK!)  But I don’t feel compelled to announce them or debate them. (I’m not a good debater.) Somehow, I feel inferior because of that. But you must understand that by not being good at debating or defending what I think, doesn’t mean I’m not convicted of my beliefs. Some folks are just better at voicing themselves and defending what they just voiced. I just happen to suck at it.

Maybe, I don’t see most things as black and white. Wait, let me rephrase that… I see the black and white, and every shade of gray in-between them. Does that make sense? Life just has so many variables. And we never know everything that is truly going on in any given situation. See… I am even questioning that last statement because there are some things that I would NEVER want my kids to do, see or hear – no question – no gray area – no debate. So I do have some black/white afterall! No… I’m not surprised and neither should you be… if you know me at all you know I do have some firm positions on some things.

The things I believe in, of and for, work for me. They are mine. I like them. But you just won’t hear a lot about them on this blog. I truly – truly wish you could, but I know better of myself. It’s just not me.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 

I was made this way. God designed me this way. So this way I shall be… and like it!

The content of this blog is simply to make others aware of Chiari Malformation II, and to share my life with the boys, way out here in Georgia, with my California family! Well, and of course my friends all over the world, and anyone else who desires to visit!

Thank you, to all who do come see me here! I appreciate you!







Filed under Rants, Real Life on My Planet

2 responses to “It’s Just Not Me

  1. Thanks for being who God created you to be and nobody else! 🙂

  2. Nagisa

    Hi, good to see you are back on your blog!
    How are you holding up? It IS hard to let a child go on his own even it is for a little while. I found a good school for Kaoru to apply for, but it is rather far and if he does go there, he will be in a dorm. That is one thing I am so hang up with. It is nothing definete yet, but still..
    So happy to hear Darren is going back to school. Please tell him we are rooting for him!
    Oh, so about seeing all the gray shades in between, I think that is what makes you a deep observant and a wise decision maker. Yeah, kinda makes it harder to reach the best decision, but I think it is better to consider every aspect of certain things.
    Remeber when Kiki was hurt? You even thought about how the other party must have felt. I admire that quality in you!!
    Yuji just left for HongKong for a week on business.
    Kaoru and I will be holding the fort.
    Bye for now!

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